The Electronic Intifada 2 January 2023
Iman al-Masri gave birth to quadruplets in the shelter center at the Rufaydah School, in Deir al-Balah, 25 December 2023. (Naaman Omar / APA Images)
I was born in 2004 in Khan Younis, during Israel’s attacks on Gaza that year.
My mother died shortly after my birth. As a child, I missed out on the nurturing bond that children have with their mothers.
When I started kindergarten, another tragedy unfolded. Israel again attacked Gaza, in December 2008 and January 2009.
We had to flee our home and seek safety elsewhere.
Our home was bombed, as was my school. My beloved teacher was killed by Israel.
I am grown up now and married. My husband and I made a home for ourselves five months ago.
It was small but it was warm.
We spent long days fixing our home and furnishing it. I felt true happiness in those moments.
However, in October, when Israel launched its latest aggression on Gaza, we had to leave our safe home and take shelter at my sister-in-law’s house.
I was eight months pregnant, and I was terrified that something would happen to the baby. During airstrikes at night, our entire family huddled in the corner as the terrifying sounds filled the room.
I tried to stay calm, to not panic. I reminded myself that the baby was safe in my womb and that he could feel my panic.
I told him: I cannot bear to lose you. May God protect my baby.
Israel dropped papers ordering us to evacuate our homes. We abandoned everything we had and rushed out of the house, into the street.
My husband Nader remained calm and prepared our bags. I did not want to leave our home, all of my baby’s new clothes.
One day before the war started, my dad and sisters visited me and brought my baby a whole new wardrobe, as is our tradition.
Nader and I left for Khan Younis.
Let me share something about this town. I was miserable there.
It is where Israel killed my mother. To know that I might be giving birth to my child in that town of death filled me with fear.
I could only pray to God that I would not give birth there, but I knew the due date was approaching. I could feel the baby ready to leave the womb.
I was sure he would be born in Khan Younis.
We traveled to the hospital, but the doctor let us know that it was not time to give birth. He said it would be a few more days.
Giving birth in Rafah
Israel was intensifying its attacks on Khan Younis, and my husband and I made the decision to head even farther south, to Rafah.
There, we sheltered in a place that I felt sure Israel would target. It was in a large open space, and I believed that Israel would attack us there.
We were far from any pharmacy and hospital, and soon after our arrival, I could tell that it was time to give birth.
God help me!
My husband found a car to take us to the hospital. I entered the hospital full of fear, haunted by the fact that my mother gave birth to me during a war, only to pass away.
The doctor instructed me to walk around, to help with the labor process.
I experienced an obstructed labor. The baby had risen to the top of my belly.
I believed this was because with each missile sound he heard, he would migrate upward.
The birth was the most pain I’ve ever experienced.
It was not just the pain of labor, but also of the Israeli attacks near the hospital. I felt the weight of death all around me as I saw women giving birth without anesthesia.
After the birth, I tried to rest. The pain lessened as I held my baby.
I adored him immediately.
We left the hospital shortly thereafter.
My friend Naveen was pregnant at the same time as me. I reached out to her to see how she was doing.
I learned that her home had been attacked by Israel and that she had suffered a head injury.
She gave birth while in a coma. She died shortly after.
I cannot bear the thought that any harm will come to my child.
May God save us.
Sura Sufyan Mousa lives in Gaza.
